Funtalia (fun-tal-ya)

Throughout junior high and high school, I had several BFFs.  Here’s a rundown of each:

B and S know very well the rollercoaster that teen best friendship is.

J - Best friend carried over from elementary school.  Very smart.  Announced she was running for ASB President before I could.  Changed the spelling of her name when she saw her birth certificate and realized her mom had been letting her misspell it since kindergarten.  Walked from one end of town to another with me when we took the bus there and couldn’t figure out how to get back.  Did school announcements together over the intercom.  Friendship fizzled after I took too long to return a couple of beanies of hers.  Didn’t see her for years until one very foggy day during Christmas break in college when she stopped at the nearest house to get her bearings - that house happened to be mine.  Recently reconnected with her on Facebook.  Still super smart.

T - Became BFFs with her after a week at church camp together.  Very artistic.  Known for being a little ditzy.  Activity we did the first time I went over to her house: shrinky dink barrettes.  Lived in her pool all summer long.  Did EVERYTHING together.  Went on vacation with each other’s families.  Walked to Taco Bell often.  Introduced me to MTV at her house.  Hosted many, many sleepovers.  Made up dances.  Remained friends even when we went to different high schools.  Had a forest in her backyard.  Drifted a bit during college when our lives went different directions.  Reconnected when I lived at home for a few months before my wedding.  One of my bridesmaids.  Get random emails and packages from her every now and then.  Still love her.

P - Became BFFs with her after a week at church camp together.  Super star soccer player.  Hung out with boys together.  Lived on completely opposite ends of town from each other.  Had an awesome aquarium in her room.  Loved going out on her boat.  Two weeks younger than me.  Got our licenses and cars when we turned 16.  Drove all over together.  Skipped Health to go out to breakfast on occasion.  Had tons of fun.  Pretty, but needed validation constantly.  Had super untrusting parents who were always checking up on us.  Dad had the name of a Simpson’s character.  Relationship ended during the summer.  Lived too far apart from each other and started hanging out with different people.  Saw her wedding photos on MySpace.  Looked beautiful.

M - Reason relationship with P fizzled.  Became BFFs after I made cheerleading.  Already was on cheer.  Very responsible.  Went on a trip together before we were friends.  Was not happy her friend had brought me.  Sat at a table together in the back of English while everyone else were at desks.  Had constant sleepovers and fast food.  Let her drive my car a few times before she turned 16 - stupid, but she was a better driver than me.  Did a lot of people watching.  Wrote notes to each other when we were bored in class.  Drifted a bit when I was out of school for a while from a car accident.  Reconnected.  Send each other packages.  One of my bridesmaids.  Don’t talk often enough on the phone.  Pick up right where we left off.  Still very responsible.

N - Became BFFs working together as counselors at a kids summer camp.  Worked there three summers total together.  Both cheerleaders.  Both frequent movie goers.  Big hecklers.  Roomed together on a fieldtrip to an out-of-state Shakespeare Festival with our class.  Did a lot of waxing, plucking, bleaching, and facial masks together.  Went to the drag races.  Laid on top of her roof.  Laughed like crazy - her grandma thought we should work professionally for laugh tracks.  Slept in her playhouse because her family had outgrown their house.  Had lots of deep discussions.  One of my bridesmaids.  Don’t talk often enough on the phone.  Pick up right where we left off.  Doctor now.  Still have plans of becoming beauty pageant judges together someday.

Of all of my BFFs, I only exchanged best friend jewelry with J and T.  J and I had one of those broken hearts necklaces, and T and I had puzzle rings that fit together.  If I were still into giving my best friends jewelry, I think I would give them this:

or this:

How would you summarize your best friend/s?  Do you give each other BFF jewelry?  Or are back-to-back, folded-arm best friends pics at Wal*Mart still the classiest way to go?

Yesterday, I was in the Juniors section at Nordstrom (Brass Plum if you will) buying some gaudy fake jewelry when I saw a stack of Xeroxed, fairly homemade-looking fliers sitting on the cashier’s countertop.  Of course I was intrigued, so I slyly stuffed one into my bag (I didn’t want to look too interested) and proceeded with my purchases.  Once I got home, I pulled out the flier to find the text below typed in Comic Sans MS font (I know that font well; I used to write all my high school papers in it because it took up more space).  To avoid any accusations of plagiarism, I do not take any credit for the following information:

How to Wear Boyfriend Jeans
Fit First:
Find a pair that fits you through the waist and hips
Cuff:
Cuffing your jeans is the EPITOMY of this style
Top if off!:
Keep the style simple with…

• A fitted tee
• Button down shirt
• Cardigan
• Small knit sweater
• Oversized tee shirts

Okay, it’s me again.  I’m guessing you don’t feel quite like the risk-taking fashionista you thought you were when you see instructions for your new style in the Juniors section of a major department store, do you?  Though, I’ll admit, I did find this flier informative as I was virtually unaware of this new trend.  I mean, I’ve seen the unattractive pictures of Katie Holmes where we were wondering if she had accidentally slipped on Tom’s jeans that morning, but I had no idea that this had caught on.  I decided to check out Nordstrom.com for some more examples of this style.  There were a few pairs that seemed passable, but really those just looked like slightly baggier capris - not bona fide boyfriend jeans.  On the other hand, the ones that I believed held true to the guidelines given on my precious flier were far from flattering.

Exhibit A

Exhibit B - Suspenders? Really?

Here’s the deal.  Your clothes will always date you.  I thought the clothes I wore when I was a teenager would never go out of style, and now I look back with utter amazement at how much fashion has changed since then (platform tennies anyone?).  To save yourself from embarrassment in the future (and all the good laughs at your expense), you have to be wise whilst deciding which trends to ignite and which ones to ignore.  Allow me to give you a word of advice on how to make this tough decision.  The next time you’re looking into one of those ever-so-slimming fitting room mirrors, ask yourself these two simple questions: Is this look timeless (think Audrey Hepburn)? Or will it time out (think Amy Winehouse)?  Hopefully, that will help you determine whether to cuff or not to cuff.  Tell me what you decide.  I think you know where I stand (and it’s not in a pair of these puppies).  Let your boyfriend keep his jeans.

How do you think Lindsay's going to feel about boyfriend jeans in 10 years? You've looked better Linds.

Yeah, yeah, I know Vans shoes have been around since the mid-60s, but I think we can all admit they’ve made a major comeback among mainstream (aka non-skating) kids of all ages.  Back when Sean Penn was fun, he brought international attention to the classic black-and-white checkered Vans Slip-On when his surfer slacker character, Spicoli, sported them in the 80s teen flick, Fast Times at Ridgemont High.  However, like most trends, these (along with his sweet, short shorts) were eventually kicked to the curb.

Spicoli rockin the Vans in FTaRH

I wore different styles of Vans in high school, but they weren’t cool or cute, and the only reason I bought them was because we had a Vans outlet in my hometown.  Plus (and I am honestly just now remembering this), there was a boy who worked there who had a crush on me, so he used to give me killer discounts on the already well-priced footwear.  How could I resist?  (Not the boy, just the shoes - nothing was ever going to happen there.)

Anyway, just look down in the hallways at your school, and I’m sure you will see plenty of Vans chauffeuring your classmates’ (hopefully ped socked) feet around, then look up - because no one wants to see which side you part your hair on - and show off those pearly whites of yours.

I like this girly take on Spicoli’s slip-ons.

I don’t know when I will ever have the need for additional ankle support and I remember finding hi-tops cumbersome when I sported them in elementary school, but I am oddly attracted to these.

Not impressed?  Go to Vans.com and create your own pair of custom Slip-Ons or Old Skools that are completely Y-O-U.  Can we say “awesome?”  Or do you disagree?  How do you feel about this returning trend?